I have made a commitment to slow down and try to take a slow march toward Christmas. I wanted to do a daily devotional with my family. We have done this but we missed a few days. But the reality is so much happens outside of my control, trying to slow down is like trying to put the brakes on when you hit some ice. No choice but go for the ride. Hopefully no one will get hurt. But I am still striving to slow it down.
I have a lot going on and it has been a difficult Christmas season. Actually the past few years have been some of the hardest Advent seasons I have ever had. I am not complaining just explaining. A big thing this year is that my dad is dying. He is home, in a hospital bed with hospice workers coming in every day. So that is really weighing on me.
Also, the church is doing great but it I really want to see it move forward a little faster. That's just me though. I know I need to work on patience and trust God more. But sometimes I wonder why some guys I know plant churches and they have 100's in attendance within the first year. I know it's not about how many people show up to church but how many are experiencing life change through Christ.
The thing is, in ministry, a sense of accomplishment is quite difficult to grasp. Yeah I know it goes back to values but there are times as a pastor, we try to help people, love them, invest in them, and then they just keep making stupid decisions with their lives and get right back into the same problems they are always dealing with. I must not be making sense but I'm just kind of in a mood lately that is not consistent with what Christ wants me to be like.
I'm being purged by God's Spirit. It amazes me that He does not force me to change but He is committed to making me like His Son. It is still hard though. I'm not depressed, just kind of tired. Like I said, a lot going on. I'm writing this just to get it out of my head. Not looking for sympathy or anyone to give me some pat answer for anything. Just want to get it out. Thanks for reading and listening.
I know "God works all things together for good for those who love him and are called according to His purposes." So I wait to see what God has in store for next year. I know that when things are getting tough that God is about to do something amazing if not down right miraculous. So I wait.
I have a lot going on and it has been a difficult Christmas season. Actually the past few years have been some of the hardest Advent seasons I have ever had. I am not complaining just explaining. A big thing this year is that my dad is dying. He is home, in a hospital bed with hospice workers coming in every day. So that is really weighing on me.
Also, the church is doing great but it I really want to see it move forward a little faster. That's just me though. I know I need to work on patience and trust God more. But sometimes I wonder why some guys I know plant churches and they have 100's in attendance within the first year. I know it's not about how many people show up to church but how many are experiencing life change through Christ.
The thing is, in ministry, a sense of accomplishment is quite difficult to grasp. Yeah I know it goes back to values but there are times as a pastor, we try to help people, love them, invest in them, and then they just keep making stupid decisions with their lives and get right back into the same problems they are always dealing with. I must not be making sense but I'm just kind of in a mood lately that is not consistent with what Christ wants me to be like.
I'm being purged by God's Spirit. It amazes me that He does not force me to change but He is committed to making me like His Son. It is still hard though. I'm not depressed, just kind of tired. Like I said, a lot going on. I'm writing this just to get it out of my head. Not looking for sympathy or anyone to give me some pat answer for anything. Just want to get it out. Thanks for reading and listening.
I know "God works all things together for good for those who love him and are called according to His purposes." So I wait to see what God has in store for next year. I know that when things are getting tough that God is about to do something amazing if not down right miraculous. So I wait.
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