I was big time reminded of the power of presence this past week as I walked with a family through a tragic death of a son. I don't know, but I would have to think it is one of the hardest things a parent could go through to have to bury a child. Although this child was 49.
But, as I was sitting at the wake watching people view the body and as I was watching the family in their grief, my thoughts went to the Jewish custom of sitting shiva.
"From the time of death until the conclusion of the funeral, the primary focus and concern is on the care of the deceased and the burial preparations. The care for the departed before burial, the eulogy, the actual burial -- all are done to honor the one who has died, and not to comfort the mourners.
However, once shiva begins, the focus shifts to the mourners. The mourners experience a week of intense grief, and the community is there to love and comfort and provide for their needs. This is a critical point, for if one must feel the heart-wrenching pain of grief and loss, it should be done at a time when all those around are there to help and comfort.
The laws of mourning have the purpose of focusing a person on their own spirituality. We experience an overall feeling of physical discomfort as we totally focus on the soul of the one who has departed. We de-emphasize our own physicality by not pampering our bodies, so we remember that what we are missing at this time is not the physical person who is gone, but the essence of who that person was, which of course is their soul."
I was sitting there, sharing in the mourning of the family. Although I never knew the man, I could feel the intense pain and grief the family was going through. It is in times like this, as a pastor that I have learned to practice the power of presence. Often times as people grieve they are not looking for a quick fix or words to bring them out of their grief. It's the power of presence. Just being there, to be a listening ear, someone to hold onto, someone to grieve with that brings more healing than any words spoken. The less you speak the better in these situation. Allow the ones who are grieving to share their loss in their time.
Romans 12:15 tells us to "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." I felt that I was able to do that this week and in a way allow Christ's presence to be the power amongst that family. As a believer in Christ, the power of presence takes on a more significant role. Because Christ lives in us, we therefore are practicing the power of Christ's presence. He can do so much more that we can. It was my continual prayer for this family that they may find some comfort and hope through my feeble attempts to share the presence of Christ with them.
In the process God did a work in me too. Not only was I forced to focus on death and one's preparedness to meet the Creator of the universe but in a sense, God allowed death to happen in me. Death to my selfishness. Death to my pride. Death to my disobedience. So that I may live in Him. So that I may practice the power of the presence of Christ in my life daily with those around me.
That is a tall order to live up to but as the Bible says, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
But, as I was sitting at the wake watching people view the body and as I was watching the family in their grief, my thoughts went to the Jewish custom of sitting shiva.
"From the time of death until the conclusion of the funeral, the primary focus and concern is on the care of the deceased and the burial preparations. The care for the departed before burial, the eulogy, the actual burial -- all are done to honor the one who has died, and not to comfort the mourners.
However, once shiva begins, the focus shifts to the mourners. The mourners experience a week of intense grief, and the community is there to love and comfort and provide for their needs. This is a critical point, for if one must feel the heart-wrenching pain of grief and loss, it should be done at a time when all those around are there to help and comfort.
The laws of mourning have the purpose of focusing a person on their own spirituality. We experience an overall feeling of physical discomfort as we totally focus on the soul of the one who has departed. We de-emphasize our own physicality by not pampering our bodies, so we remember that what we are missing at this time is not the physical person who is gone, but the essence of who that person was, which of course is their soul."
I was sitting there, sharing in the mourning of the family. Although I never knew the man, I could feel the intense pain and grief the family was going through. It is in times like this, as a pastor that I have learned to practice the power of presence. Often times as people grieve they are not looking for a quick fix or words to bring them out of their grief. It's the power of presence. Just being there, to be a listening ear, someone to hold onto, someone to grieve with that brings more healing than any words spoken. The less you speak the better in these situation. Allow the ones who are grieving to share their loss in their time.
Romans 12:15 tells us to "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." I felt that I was able to do that this week and in a way allow Christ's presence to be the power amongst that family. As a believer in Christ, the power of presence takes on a more significant role. Because Christ lives in us, we therefore are practicing the power of Christ's presence. He can do so much more that we can. It was my continual prayer for this family that they may find some comfort and hope through my feeble attempts to share the presence of Christ with them.
In the process God did a work in me too. Not only was I forced to focus on death and one's preparedness to meet the Creator of the universe but in a sense, God allowed death to happen in me. Death to my selfishness. Death to my pride. Death to my disobedience. So that I may live in Him. So that I may practice the power of the presence of Christ in my life daily with those around me.
That is a tall order to live up to but as the Bible says, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
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