I found this list over at another forum. I liked it and thought I would add a few of my own comments in ( ). Enjoy
Why Men Are Never Depressed
Men Are Just Happier People—
What do you expect from such simple creatures? (life is too short)
Your last name stays put. (so)
The garage is all yours. (yeah and the cat box too)
Wedding plans take care of themselves. (as if)
Chocolate is just another snack. (everything is a snack)
You can be President. (who wants that?)
You can never be pregnant. (Plus if we are fat we don't get accused of being pregnant)
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. (only in the 50's and 60's)
You can wear NO shirt to a water park. (And then get kicked out)
Car mechanics tell you the truth. (only to other mechanics)
The world is your urinal. (true)
You never have to drive to another gas station rest-rooms because this one is just too icky. (see last line)
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. (righty tighty-lefty loosy)
Same work, more pay. (more crap)
Wrinkles add character. (to water maybe)
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. (nuff said)
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. (unless you have man-boobs)
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. (right on)
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. (have you ever worn combat boots?)
One mood all the time. (shut up) (sorry)
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. (15)
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. (and one pair of socks, three pairs of underwear)
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. (says who?)
If someone forgets to invite you, he can still be your friend. (after I punch him)
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. (who the heck pays $8.95?)
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. (uh shoes?)
You almost never have strap problems in public. (ever hear of chaffing?)
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. (because we're too busy working for that double pay)
Everything on your face stays its original color. (when we're sleeping)
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. (I think I can get ten years out of mine)
You only have to shave your face and neck. (yeah, backs and chests are for waxing)
You can play with toys all your life. (If our wife lets us)
Your belly usually hides your big hips. (what big hips?)
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. (function over fashion)
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. (and you will tells us too)
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. (teeth)
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. (If we don't want to get kissed)
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. (dollar store)
No wonder men are happier. (you bet)
Why Men Are Never Depressed
Men Are Just Happier People—
What do you expect from such simple creatures? (life is too short)
Your last name stays put. (so)
The garage is all yours. (yeah and the cat box too)
Wedding plans take care of themselves. (as if)
Chocolate is just another snack. (everything is a snack)
You can be President. (who wants that?)
You can never be pregnant. (Plus if we are fat we don't get accused of being pregnant)
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. (only in the 50's and 60's)
You can wear NO shirt to a water park. (And then get kicked out)
Car mechanics tell you the truth. (only to other mechanics)
The world is your urinal. (true)
You never have to drive to another gas station rest-rooms because this one is just too icky. (see last line)
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. (righty tighty-lefty loosy)
Same work, more pay. (more crap)
Wrinkles add character. (to water maybe)
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. (nuff said)
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. (unless you have man-boobs)
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. (right on)
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. (have you ever worn combat boots?)
One mood all the time. (shut up) (sorry)
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. (15)
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. (and one pair of socks, three pairs of underwear)
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. (says who?)
If someone forgets to invite you, he can still be your friend. (after I punch him)
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. (who the heck pays $8.95?)
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. (uh shoes?)
You almost never have strap problems in public. (ever hear of chaffing?)
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. (because we're too busy working for that double pay)
Everything on your face stays its original color. (when we're sleeping)
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. (I think I can get ten years out of mine)
You only have to shave your face and neck. (yeah, backs and chests are for waxing)
You can play with toys all your life. (If our wife lets us)
Your belly usually hides your big hips. (what big hips?)
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. (function over fashion)
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. (and you will tells us too)
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. (teeth)
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. (If we don't want to get kissed)
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. (dollar store)
No wonder men are happier. (you bet)
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