Maybe it is the rain pounding on the roof or the dark cloudy day, but I'm in one of those moods. Blue with a capital B. There are times in ministry that I just want out. I want a normal life of going to work 9 to 5 then coming home not having to worry or think about it. Not having the buck stop with me and having to make decisions that inevitably will make someone upset with me. Sometimes it seems like it never ends.
To those who are not in full-time ministry but are considering it, there is a side to ministry that is not taught in Bible College. It is the dark side. The side where you get into the messy things of peoples lives. The side where there is no right answer or at times no answer at all. The times people come to you with the junk in their lives hoping that you can save them from it yet all the while you think, "Man, I am way over my head." How do you respond to people who send you e-mails and cards telling you what is wrong with your ministry and the church. Those who are Christians that is. I believe two subjects should be taught in Bible Colleges with all diligence, conflict resolution and fundraising. Basically, dealing with people and trying to raise money for ministry. Trust me, they would both have helped me tremendously in pastoring.
I think the pressure of leading a dying church to life has sucked the life out of me. It has taken all of my strength to get this far. There have been many times over the years I just wanted to throw in the towel and let someone else take the hits. But one thing has kept me all this time. One thing holds me like an anchor. It is the call of God on my life. I cannot run from it. I cannot escape it. I cannot deny it. There is nothing else I can do or rather do. I have been saved for this purpose and this purpose alone. Who am I to say that God is wrong. But sometimes I wonder. I'm not complaining just explaining how I feel tonight.
American Idol is on. My rant is over.
To those who are not in full-time ministry but are considering it, there is a side to ministry that is not taught in Bible College. It is the dark side. The side where you get into the messy things of peoples lives. The side where there is no right answer or at times no answer at all. The times people come to you with the junk in their lives hoping that you can save them from it yet all the while you think, "Man, I am way over my head." How do you respond to people who send you e-mails and cards telling you what is wrong with your ministry and the church. Those who are Christians that is. I believe two subjects should be taught in Bible Colleges with all diligence, conflict resolution and fundraising. Basically, dealing with people and trying to raise money for ministry. Trust me, they would both have helped me tremendously in pastoring.
I think the pressure of leading a dying church to life has sucked the life out of me. It has taken all of my strength to get this far. There have been many times over the years I just wanted to throw in the towel and let someone else take the hits. But one thing has kept me all this time. One thing holds me like an anchor. It is the call of God on my life. I cannot run from it. I cannot escape it. I cannot deny it. There is nothing else I can do or rather do. I have been saved for this purpose and this purpose alone. Who am I to say that God is wrong. But sometimes I wonder. I'm not complaining just explaining how I feel tonight.
American Idol is on. My rant is over.
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